Happy Birthday, Ilsa!

My baby girl turns six today. She's been so excited about it that yesterday she got sent to the office for being disruptive. Twice. At a Montessori. The whole point of a Montessori is to do what you want, so she must've been a little hellion.

Tonight we're going out to Red Lobster, her favorite, (plus I have a gift certificate!), and doing the cake-and-presents thing at home. She's also delivering cookies to all her school friends because the birthday child gets to bring in a treat for everyone. I'll provide details in the morning. There's one gift in particular that I wonder how she'll react...

In other news, Juliette participated in her winter concert last night. The combined kindergarten and first graders performed two songs. All very cute, especially the second graders. The fifth and sixth grade choir was the best--very pretty songs. I can't seem to upload the video of Juliette's to my computer, but I know I did it somehow for her concert back in May. I think I figured it out last night. I'll try to have it up later this evening.

Otherwise, I'm doing my best to cross everything off my huge work/holiday/birthday/chores list. Slowly, slowly, it's all coming together.

Best of SYTYCD

This seasons best performances, as determined by me. I know a few will be on the recap show tonight, but I wonder how many?

Best Contemporary: I'm calling this one a tie between Ellenore & Jakob's "You Tore My Heart," by Sonya, and last night's "At This Moment," danced by Kathryn & Jakob and choreographed by Dwight & Desmond. I get to call it a tie because the Sonya piece is quirky and the D&D piece is emotional. My rules.

Honorable mentions go to the Travis wall routines danced by Bianca & Victor, Ellenore & Ryan, and Ashleigh & Ryan. I also adored Kathryn & Legacy's "Fear," as choreographed by Stacey Tookey, and "A Case of You" by Tasty Oreo, as danced by Noelle & Russell.

Best Jazz: Kathryn & Legacy's "So Deep," also by Sonya.

Best Hip-hop: Dave Scott's "Cavemen" as danced by Kathryn & Legacy, followed by three done by Tabitha and Napoleon: Karen & Kevin's "Car" routine, Jakob & Ashleigh's "Caught Cheating," and Noelle & Ryan's "Desk" number.

Best World: Kathryn & Ryan's cha-cha by Jason G., followed by Mollee & Nathan's Bollywood number by Nakul.

Best Solo: Legacy's Top 10 OMG mental "No Air"

Best Group: Wade's "Four Gangs"

Best Guest Performance: the Alvin Ailey trio

SYTYCD Week #8

I'm going to do this wrap-up as quickly as they did this supposed finale. One hour? Really? The editing was so distracting.

Kathryn & Ryan (Jason G's samba): I still have major samba envy, coz I want to move like that! The opening was a little too complex and labored for my tastes, and the end had me wondering how many times she fell on her ass before she got it right. I want Kathryn or Russell to win.

Ellenore & Jakob (Tasty Oreo's Broadway): How does she make him seem less gay? It's amazing, their partnership. This was foxy and fun.

Ashleigh & Russell (Sonya's lyric jazz): I hated this version of a Jewel classic. Is she mining older material in lieu of new stuff? I had goosebumps throughout the dance, though. Could be because it's only 8F outside, but I'll be generous and say that it was emotion. Nigel needs to shut up about the shirtless guys. It's one of the wonders if watching dance!

Ellenore & Ryan (Garry Stewart's jazz): I loved her kneepads. Excellent and entertaining. Yet in an evening of overtly emotional performances, this one suffered from lack of tears-in-hankies.

Ashleigh & Jakob (Jean-Marc's foxtrot): They were oddly mismatched in the opening, to the point where I was thinking, "Wow, they had to get used to a virgin partnership and it's not sitting well on them." I'd totally forgotten the first five weeks of them working together. Forgettable.

Ellenore & Russell (Jason G's paso): More shirtless! God bless the wardrobe department. Very nice. They were convincing and well-matched. But again, it was all about the emotional pieces tonight. This won't help either of them.

Kathryn & Jakob (Dwight & Desmond's contemp): *sobs...rewinds...sobs again*

Ashleigh & Rysn (Travis's contemp): It's a rare night when a Travis Wall contemporary will get shown up, but it was tonight. This routine suffered from having to follow Kathryn & Jakob's *sobs*...that one. But when Ryan did the cradling motion and rocked her back and forth...*wipes tear* Assholes.

Kathryn & Russell (Tab & Nap's hip-hop): Cute, hard-hitting, and well synchronized. But if it's not lyrical hip-hop, the chorey rarely has the same impact for me as with other styles. Damn, Russell is good.

Basically, I'd like to see anyone but the married couple win it. I still protest that Ashleigh shouldn't be here. I'll put it down to Kathryn and Jakob, with Jakob joining his best friend Jeannine as America's Favorite Dancer.

The Other Author in Our Family

We've always suspected that Juliette's fascination with art was a substitute for verbal and written skills she hadn't yet mastered. Her latest complete story is a sublime example of that. She's illustrated the cover and the finale, but that's it. Packed between those drawings are five densely-handwritten pages of text. I present it here in its entirety, slightly edited for grammar and spelling (although, OMG, that's so much better than even a few months ago!).

Merry Christmas, Ribbets the Tree Frog
By the author of Ribbets in the Rain Forest [her words! click the cover!]

Ribbets didn't know the true meaning of Christmas. He didn't know anything about Christmas. All he was doing was hibernating.

On the 20th of December, Jaguar said to him, "I have a Christmas present. Can I come in to put it under your tree?"

"I don't have one," Ribbets answered. "All I want is for someone to tell me the true meaning of Christmas."

Jaguar didn't know it. So Ribbets went on hibernating.

On the 21st of December, Parrot came. "Can I come in?" he said.

So Ribbets let Parrot in. "What's the true meaning of Christmas?" he asked.

"I don't know," he said as he drank his hot chocolate. And Parrot flew away.

On the 22nd of December, Chameleon came over. He wanted to borrow some cocoa.

"What's the true meaning of Christmas?" Ribbets said.

Chameleon didn't know and he walked away.

On the 23rd of December, Tree Boa was slithering on the roof of Ribbets' tree. Ribbets opened his door and looked up. "What's the true meaning of Christmas?" he asked.

Tree Boa didn't know and she slithered away.

On the 24th of December, Spider Monkey swinged along. Ribbets asked the true meaning of Christmas again. Spider Monkey didn't know. And he kept on swinging. "But remember, Ribbets, tomorrow is Christmas," said Spider Monkey.

"I know. I do have a calendar," said Ribbets.

"Uh, that's February," said Spider Monkey.

That night, Ribbets didn't want to eat his fruit and horseflies. "What's the true meaning of Christmas?" he said.

So he went away from South America, through North America, across the Arctic Ocean, to the North Pole. It was lonely. He wanted to go home. But then a few seconds later, he saw a castle. Inside he saw a stable, but instead of horses it was reindeer. Then he saw an elves' workshop. And he saw a big flying thingie. Inside it was tons and tons and tons and tons of toys.

He went inside the bag. There were dolls, and cars, and yo-yos, and stuffed toys. Oh, it was fun in that sack until...someone came into the sleigh. "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!" he shouted.

Ribbets had never heard anyone say that. Then the sleigh began to take off. Ribbets saw the whole world, but he didn't see South America. "I knew going to the North Pole was a bad idea," he said.

Then the person found him. It was Santa Claus. So he gave him a toy and said, "Reindeer, go south."

Ribbets hopped down. By morning he sent off invitations which said, "Dear rain forest animals, please come to my house at half-past seven. Sincerely, Ribbets."

There was Jaguar, and Parrot, and Chameleon, and Tree Boa, and Spider Monkey, and Piranha, and Vampire Bat, and seven Fire Ants. "Welcome to my Christmas Party," Ribbets said. "What should we do first?"

Jaguar said, "How about we decorate the Christmas tree I gave you?"

So they did. There were glitter pinecones, and nutcrackers, and bells, and plain ornaments, and candy canes, and garland, and lights, and popcorn chains, and glass reindeer, and of course, the star.

"Let's open presents!" yelled Ribbets.

So they did. Jaguar got a hang-glider. Parrot got binoculars. Chameleon got new color crayons. Tree Boa got slippery lotion. Spider Monkey got one hundred bags of seeds. Piranha got a fish tank. The seven fire ants got stilts.

"Christmas dinner!" yelled everyone.

Everyone helped Ribbets make dinner. Jaguar made delicious pudding. Parrot made Parrot Chef Surprise. Chameleon made chameleon-made sugar cake. Tree Boa made tree sap lemon sauce. Spider Monkey made vine-wrapped mumbo jumbo. The seven fire ants made a wild food sundae. Vampire bat made cow blood juice.

When they were eating, Ribbets found out the true meaning of Christmas and he said, "I found the true meaning of Christmas, everybody!"

Everyone said, "The true meaning of Christmas is what?"

"I knew all along. It is spending time with friends and family. We all agree on that."

The End. My kid is awesome.

SYTYCD Week #7

OK, fine. If they're just gonna start making up rules on the fly, then just call it a variety program rather than a competition and be done with it. In previous instances of injured contestants (Jessica in S4 and Penny in AU2), they're done. They're out. Other dancers fill in, but there's no way that the injured contestant gets to have folks vote for their shiny personalities. Otherwise Penny would've won AU2. If Ashleigh makes it into the finale--and don't even get me started about the Top 6 being the finale!--then I call shenanigans.

Oh, Cat, why the gold one-piece hot-pants thing?

Kathryn & Ryan (Doriana's disco): Ryan dreams of disco? Really? These two were oddly unsynchronized, as if they'd learned the steps but hadn't practiced in front of a mirror together. I thought that Kathryn looked the more uncomfortable of the two, but neither of them really got into the loose, cheesy disco feel.

Mollee & Jakob (Jason's Viennese waltz): Jason is The Man. This was lovely and innovative. I was a little uncertain about the speed, and it would've looked fairly crappy with anyone but Jakob leading, but he did such a good job of staying light and still guiding Mollee so well. Weird when the dude is the more graceful and flexible of the pair!

Ellenore & Legacy (Travis's contemporary): This is the first of Travis's contemporaries that I haven't liked. The judges kept stressing the danger aspect, and maybe that was the disconnect. It was too dangerous--more like watching a stunt show than a dance. It was interesting but I wasn't moved.

Russell & Not-Ashleigh (Shane's hiphop): My DVR cut out (stoopid weather!) so I have no idea what this was like.

Kathryn & Ryan (Jason's cha-cha): Spicy and entertaining. Kathryn was extra flirtatious and very much in command, and yet Ryan kept the transitions smooth and natural. Jason really did have a great night of stellar pieces. I'll have to watch this one again.

Mollee & Jakob (Joey's Broadway): Mollee really is a whole different person with her new, post-Nathan partners. She's striking me as Kayla did last season in that she totally becomes her role. She's a blank slate to start with, which makes the choreography sit very easily on her. It's not like trying to make Legacy into a guy who can waltz. Mollee is a professional dancer. She's not meant to have a genuine personality--just the personality that's assigned to her. Jakob is very similar: skilled, great performer, but rather lacking in distinctive sparkle. I think that's why this routine worked. They could just be their characters.

Ellenore & Legacy (I refuse to call them "Nappy Tabs"): Meh. Boring, lacking in connection, and generally kinda...gimmicky? They needed better at this stage.

Russell & Not-Ashleigh (Nakul's Bollywood): Russell was both shown up by Nakul's assistant (in that she was so very, very sharp and in command of the movement), but also aided by her expertise (in that by her excelling, she made him look more competent). Ashleigh might have done fine, but she wouldn't have necessarily had the same flare that the "real thing" was able to provide for Russell. After all, despite the cameraman's attempt to have me do otherwise, most of my attention was drawn to her.

Solos, all in one word each:
Ashleigh: doped!
Jakob: bendy!
Mollee: DVR-fail!
Legacy: sweet!
Ellenore: jazzy!
Russell: goofy!
Kathryn: dynamic!
Ryan: schmatlzy!

I've given up predicting who's going home. As Iggy Pop said, "The rules are all wrong...every perversion is justified." So there's no telling how this will go down! People may actually prefer to vote in a woman who didn't dance rather than one who did. I tell you, it's dogs and cats living together. Instead I'll say who I'd like in the so-called finale: Kathryn, Mollee and Ellenore (naturally), plus Legacy, Russell and Jakob (just so the married folks can get the boot together).

They Were Just Kids

I'm watching "WWII in HD" on the History Channel. So far it's been the best that the History Channel can produce, in that its inherent pro-American retelling and bombastic music are offset by some truly remarkable footage and an excellent sense of the dramatic. This is more than a documentary; it's storytelling.

Anyway, I knew this was coming because of what Liz had described to me, but yesterday I watched the portion where a young sailor named Jack Yusen survives a shipwreck. He in the Philippines, and his ship, the USS Samuel B. Roberts, and a hodgepodge of other light vessels staved off Japanese destroyers and kept the secured beaches of Leyte safe. They basically knew, going in, that they were entirely outmatched.

(As an aside, I had to look up who Samuel B. Roberts was. Turns out he was killed in Guadalcanal, and three Navy ships were eventually named for him.)

The Samuel B. Roberts was sunk. Yusen and his fellow sailors clung to a raft for fifty hours, surrounded by sharks. At one point, a tiger shark pushed up against Yusen's thigh. He immediately made a bargain with God. He begged God to send the shark away, and in return, he'd be a good man for the rest of his life. The first on his list? "I won't fight with my brother."

I started to cry.

What grown-up would ever make that bargain? We might promise to be honest, or to be good citizens, or to stay faithful to our spouses, or to go to church, or to raise good kids, or to help our fellow man, or to keep from living greedy, materialistic lives. But to promise not to fight with a sibling? That's the promise a kid would make. It was first to his mind because, in his brief life, he'd probably never been accused of more serious transgressions.

What made it even more powerful was that Jack Yusen, now in his 80s and pictured here, was telling the story. That first mention of not fighting with his brother--those were his words, which means that even after all these years, the terms of his promise to God were emblazoned on his memory.

Turns out the tiger shark moved on. It swam down past two guys and bit the leg off of another sailor. They had to "turn him lose," as Yusen described it. They had no medical supplies, no morphine, and no way to keep the feeding frenzy at bay if they tried to save their friend.

This part about the soldiers being little more than kids is lost in cinema. For example, in The Longest Day, which I couldn't finish because it was so frustrating, Robert Ryan (age 53) and John Wayne (age 55) portrayed Gen. James "Be Still My Heart" Gavin (age 37) and Lt. Col. Benjamin Vandervoort (age 27). In what universe is that even close to the reality of an entire airborne division being led by a 37-year-old? Modern adaptations strive for accuracy, but even in "Band of Brothers," Damian Lewis was four years older than Dick Winters, and Ron Livingston was eight years older than Lewis Nixon. It's truly hard to fathom how young they were, for how much responsibility they carried.

What's also interesting about this whole ordeal was that the Samuel B. Roberts was initially bound for North Africa. It had been part of a convoy heading across the Atlantic when it ran into a whale. After heading back to the States for repairs, it then joined up with a convoy heading through the Panama Canal to join the Pacific fleet. Who knows what he would've endured in the Mediterranean, but if it hadn't been for a whale, of all thing, his whole experience in the war would've been considerably different.

I think part of the fascination--mine and everyone else's--with war stories is the "you can't make this up" factor. It sounds too improbable, too bizarre. But when literally millions of people were engaged in operations all over the world, it becomes more like monkeys typing Shakespeare: anything's possible.

Science for the Win!

Yesterday, Keven took the girls to the talk with Paul Sereno. As you can see from the picture, Juliette was brave enough to stand up and ask her question: "How can we tell female SuperCrocs from male ones?" Turns out it's about size, in that they believe the females were larger. Keven said there were about 150 people in attendance, so Juliette totally kicked butt in asking--with a microphone no less. Apparently Ilsa had wanted to ask a question too, and she was even waiting ahead of Juliette, but one of two things happened: either she chickened out (Keven's take) or her question was already asked (Ilsa's version). She'd wanted to know how long the SuperCroc's eggs were.

Oh, just how super, you ask? Here. It makes people look bite-sized.

Afterward, they got their picture taken with Dr. Sereno and he signed little dinosaur fact books for both. Because I promised we'd buy a frame if she got a picture, we'll be heading to Walgreen's this afternoon to pick one out. So cool. Props to Kev for finding out about the talk in the first place, and for venturing into downtown Chicago for his Sunday. They didn't get back home until 6:30.

One day it'll be all about Jonas Montana type idols, but for now their celebrity fascination is devoted to a paleontologist. I couldn't be more tickled.

Author Copies!

I'm still hacking but I'm feeling much better...especially since my author copies arrived a whole month early! That means I'll spend part of the weekend sending them to reviewers who need print copies. I'll probably come up with a contest, too. Stay tuned!

So pretty....!

Sick-O

I am not well. I think I have pneumonia, if pneumonia means watery lungs and a hacking, hideous cough. I'll go to the doctor if I'm not much, much better by Monday. So I've spent most of the last two days on the couch. Good for my word count...not so good for every other responsibility. I'm off to watch "WWII in HD." Liz told me about it, and now it's playing On Demand. How sad am I that one of the selling points is that Ron Livingston does the voice for one of the twelve profiled people?

SYTYCD Week #6

Holy crap. I'm still breathless from this absolutely mental episode. I haven't seen this many fantastic routines--a few of which will go down as classics--packed into one show since the first weeks each of S5 and S3. And wow, doesn't the show go quickly without the pre-dance packages? It really makes the choreographers work harder to get their vision across without the spoken intro. Let it all be said with dance!

Noelle & Ryan (Tab & Nap's hiphop): I am so much happier with Ryan if I just pretend he's Hugh Jackman. From a distance it totally works. This was cute and sexy. I likey. I'm shallow that way.

Ashleigh & Legacy (Garry Stewart's contemp): Done by SYTYCD contestants, Garry's work should look like this (as performed by Charlie & Talia of Aussie S2). This...wasn't close. I liked the effort, and it was interesting enough to hold my attention, but it wasn't fierce enough.

Kathryn & Nathan (Spencer Liff's Broadway): Very cute. However, I just watched White Christmas last week where, holy moly, Vera Ellen and John Brascia tore up the Bob Fosse choreography. There's just no comparison. Kathryn was wonderful to watch. Nathan, of course, couldn't match her for shit. He's more intent on showing off what he can do than actually performing with his partner.

Ellenore & Jakob (Mel & Tony's quickstep): Meh. Their feet weren't synchronized in several places, mostly through the fault of Ellenore. The concept was cheesy. I really feared for them after this number. But it was some serious quickstep chorey. Tough stuff.

Mollee & Russell (Mandy Moore's lyric jazz): It wouldn't be Mandy Moore without the 80s. There were some gorgeous lift sequences, but I didn't feel the chemistry. Russell was a pretty forklift. However, his wonderful partnering really showed how poorly Nathan worked with Molleeeeee all these weeks.

Noelle & Ryan (JT & Tomas's waltz): He has huge strides. I really think that male partnering makes or breaks Latin routines, and he did well. He balanced her perfectly over her supporting leg, showing her off nicely. The music was lovely and evocative. But did I feel the intense passion and connection that Pasha could bring to his waltz, or even Mark when he waltzed with Courtney? Nope.

Ashleigh & Legacy (Dave Scott's hiphop): What the hell boring POS was that? It's kinda insulting to give them something so basic, so charmless, so uninspired. I feel bad for Ashleigh (coz Legacy will be fine). I really think Dave Scott is better than that. Wonder what happened?

Kathryn & Nathan (Mel & Tony's rumba): Oh, fish-face boy. That's not what sexy looks like. And having good Latin carriage does not mean sticking out your tummy. Kathryn totally held him up. She was incredible, very committed.

Ellenore & Jakob (Sonya's contemporary): I have no words. That was mental. Perfection. An instant classic. I have goosebumps just thinking about it.

Noelle & Russell (Anya & Pasha's jive): OH! Mollee was totally channeling Anya's rear end. I missed seeing a bit of "the message" from Russell, but he did a great job of leading. Mollee had a lot to push off of. Totally fun and happy and energetic. Great way to end, especially considering that they had to come right after Ellenore & Jakob.

Here's a quick run-down of the solos...
Mollee: I've come to expect more from her solos. Unimpressed.
Russell: Fun how he can be intense, scary and intensely personable too.
Noelle: Pretty, with some innovative moves, but again--unimpressed.
Ryan: *wipes chin* That was very naughty.
Kathryn: Very pretty. The contemp stuff all starts to blend.
Nathan: He's an immature little kid, but he sure can pirouette.
Ellenore: Thank goodness for something different.
Legacy: OMGOMGOMGOMG. Mental.
Ashleigh: SuperSamba! But it looked a little sloppy.
Jakob: Totally showed Nathan where to stick it.

And all the parents who cry over how proud they are of their kids...they can just kiss my rear. *wipes tear*

OK, bottom three are...Noelle, Ashleigh and Kathryn, with Ashleigh going home, plus Nathan, Ryan and Russell, with Nathan going home. Your thoughts?