Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

...no, I didn't. That would have been nice, especially considering the Cary Elwes kick I've been on since this weekend -- despite Lyvvie's best efforts to ruin it!

But no. Who did I dream about last night? The Clintons. I shit you not.

While driving down I-71 between Columbus and Cincinnati, I needed to stop off for a cheeseburger. Mind you, I used to do this quite frequently -- say, SEVEN years ago. Not in recent memory. At the drive-thru, stuff happened. You know how dreams are. Bill was in the parking lot signing autographs and stumping. I somehow lost my vehicle and stood next to him. I know he's fairly tall in real life, but in dream, the man was just huge. Like one of my old bosses, a former football and basketball player. Hugging David was like hugging an oak.

Anyway, we wound up in a Winnebago -- me, Bill and Hill. We talked. They spoke eloquent bull puckey. I asked Bill what we can do to help the world. Apparently, I had decided to do my best impression of a high school kid doing an interview for Channel One. He said we all need to buy Mary J. Blige's new CD because the money would go to charity.

Fair enough. I mean, she's worked with U2. She might be in to charity albums. But here's the funny part: even in my dream, swimming in the midst of the surreal, I was totally creeped out by the way Bill said her name. Something kinda icky and far too lingering. Just a little chuckle and an "ain't she talented," but I felt all dirty.

Anyway, Hillary looked like Florence Henderson. In continuing with my high school reporter theme, I asked Bill what he's been doing since leaving the White House. A janitor came by and said whoever was in the toilet tended to... shall we say... leave extra work for him to do, and could we please find out who it was. Bill knocked on the door to the loo, no one was inside, and Hill's people made like it was a magic trick. Ta-dah! Willy made the pooper disappear. Bring on the presidential run-up!

Thankfully, I woke up. Despite the snow and the cold, I will face this day with a happy heart, knowing I do not live my waking hours in the world of my sick, sick unconscious.


Ann(ie) said...

Remind me to tell you my dream about the hole sometime.

This tops it, btw.

lindseysoda said...

I think the person who left the mess in the bathroom symbolizes George W. Bush. The bathroom is clearly Iraq, and your subconscious believes that Hillary should be the next president so the Clintons can clean up the mess. There you go.

Kate R said...

damn, that wins the Dream of The Month award. yeah, it's only the fourth but I can't see any dream beating that for sheer weirdly goodness.

Tess said...

I had a dream about Dick Cheney the other night. A diner was creating special Valentine's Day desserts named after politicians, and one was the Dick Cheney Because It Is Bitter and Because It Is My Heart Dark Chocolate Torte. Dick Cheney smirked a little when they told him.

I would have preferred to dream about the Clintons.