Obligatory Self-Conciliatory Post

Today is Golden Heart notification day. I had forgotten all about it until I read someone else's blog. Drat. Now the whole day has this tiny bit of edge to it, coming to grips with a quiet telephone.

I finished. Serenade, I mean. That was the first goal when I had a serious little talk with myself in June of last year. And I did it.

I put the fledgling little MS out there for people to actually read, which was goal number two. I found many people to help me on my way -- sounding boards, crit partners, support network, friends.

I finished the MS two more times, a goal I didn't know enough to know I needed. I submitted it to Golden Heart, the BIG goal. At the time.

Then I got really serious. Publication serious. Spend money serious. And serious replies followed -- rejections and praise, all constructive. All necessary. Did you know, I no longer get that sick feeling in my stomach when I read a critique? My body has learned that the process is a healthy one. Another goal I didn't know I needed.

And I received a full request. Then another. Two! And two more rewrites followed, pushing me to find the finished MS. My best work. Finaling in a contest -- no matter how big -- was never the goal, or at least it never should have been. Publication is the goal, and I have done more on that front than I expected when I began.

But that doesn't mean I won't be disappointed. And this page isn't helping make my day any more normal.

So all of this is a means of donning my armor, combating the truth when the phone doesn't ring today. These reminders to myself are my mail, helmet, and shield. My WIP is my sword, because progress on that puppy is a choice weapon to slay doubt and second thoughts. And my friends and family have my back.

1 comment:

lindseysoda said...

Good luck, if it's not too late. I totally have my fingers crossed for you! In related news, we just found out that we didn't win that contest for writing a children's story (the one you edited for us) but that's ok, at least it was fun working on it together, since we had never written anything together before. I kept waiting for the call on notification day, but alas, it never came. We have a copy of last year's winners, and some of them are just soooo bad. I'm not being bitter, they were really bad. One of them was even a tad racist! There's just NO accounting for taste. Focus on your literary agent search and working on RWS. For what it's worth, I think that SS was the best fiction book I read last year!